I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize