Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
