Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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