bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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