Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
