I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
