Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
