the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Damn victory sex feels great
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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