awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
