i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
