Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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