i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
