Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
