Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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