I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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