It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
