I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
