Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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