he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
tell me about the fingering
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
