Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
