and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
