she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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