you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Who died my cat blue again?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
