Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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