If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
