Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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