is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
