I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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