You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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