when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
