It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
