Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
