You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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