There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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