hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
