i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
