Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
