Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
