We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We're facebook friends in real life
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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