Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
