absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
my liver is dry heaving
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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