Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
