mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
