when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
