And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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