I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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