you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
