standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
