This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
