Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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