party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
