Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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