What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
