This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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