I just threw up on my dentist
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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