Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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